You remember the TV show the Brady Bunch? Two families that came together to create one big happy family.In the TV show the couple were both widowed so they didn’t bring the divorce baggage into the relationship (true they had other baggage). How many of us have blended our families based on the story tale of the Brady Bunch—too many!
Before blending your family talk it through. How will you discipline? Do you each currently have different rules for bedtime, meals. curfew, use of electronics or the provision of a cell phone or a car? What about chores or work after school or school activities? Do you use time out or grounding and what infraction brings on the parental response.
Children don’t often want to be blended….and in fact, can’t be blended. You can learn to live together but the two families will remain separate as far as the children are concerned.
Dealing with children will be a huge source of conflict for the divorced couple and their respective Ex’s. You may want to see a counselor, or the StepParent Association, or create a reading list.
First and foremost, the changes must be discussed with the kids prior to your remarriage. If you can, redecorate the house so it’s new for everyone – it’s OUR HOUSE now.
Each parent is responsible for disciplining their own child…NO MUTUAL DISCIPLINING. As parents, you mutually support each other. However, if a child is disrespectful to you, you respond in an appropriate manner because you were the target of the bad behavior. Beyond the first response, the natural must step-up and step-in.
There is no Brady Family, there is just your family.