Don’t Kill the Messenger means the messenger is not the party responsible for the bad news your receiving. However, in divorce and custody/visitation, we kill the messenger each time we ask our child to deliver a message to the other parent. See if this sounds familiar to you: “Your mother should not tell you to deliver that message to me. You should not be put in the middle so next time you see her, tell her that!”
Hate to speak to your EX- then use this free app: talkingparents.com
Don’t put your kids in the middle of your battle because it “killing” their relationship with you.