Dating -A Family Affair

Dating is something many of you don’t want to think about immediately after divorce and others can’t wait to get on a dating app. Timing is a personal decision but how you date is a family affair.

When you have children, their feelings and comfort must be paramount in any dating decision you make. Children, no matter the age (and that includes adult children) don’t like seeing their parent replaced. Adult children may feel uncomfortable with your dating but their concerns are similar to young children- who is this new person and why are they taking up so much of my Mom or Dad’s time.

No sleepovers until you are in a committed relationship- NONE! And a committed relationship is not 4 or 6 weeks. That definition worked when you were single and there were no kids but it doesn’ t work now.  When you have a free weekend (most of you), use that weekend for your overnights. No free weekend, then ask a friend to babysit (or hire a babysitter) so that you can spend time together at the house without kids. Waking up with your new love is nice but guarding the feelings of your children will make you feel better.

Introducing a child too early in a relationship is a HUGE mistake. Once you are serious, introduce your new love to your children a “teaspoon” at a time. If you keep introducing a new lover to your children, they learn that love doesn’t last and you’ll keep adding instability into their lives.

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