I don’t understand why my kids hate me. I’m really trying to figure it out, but I’m pretty sure it’s because of their Mom (she hates me). I started a checklist to see what’s the matter.
- I’m always late with pay child support so the kids can’t be in sports or other activities.
- I never pay the full amount of child support because I have bills to pay and a social life, I’m pretty sure my paying less doesn’t impact my kids.(Why do they keep asking me about stuff?)
- I always complain to my kids about child support. (They should know the court ripped me off.)
- I always complain to my kids about their mother.
- I use my kids as my personal messenger to deliver my message to their mother.
- I ask my kids what their Mom has recently bought for the house or about her new partner. (I’m just curious- that’s not making them my spies)
- Baseball games, school plays, parent-teacher nights interfere with my plans besides I might see their mother and I hate her. (Sitting in the same stadium is not far enough away for me.)
- It’s the playoffs or world series, that only happens once a year and I have a bet in the game. I can see the kids next week or next month. I don’t want to watch the game on my DVR. They understand how much I love sports.
- I am not going to a kids movie or event, that’s just not my thing.
- This is a really important text- the kids don’t mind if I’m not “present.”
- A conversation at dinner- what would we talk about?
- This new 75 inch TV is really for them.
Why do my kids hate me? It’s can’t be anything I’m doing.
It’s Father’s Day. There’s a difference between being a father and being a Dad. A Dad is there for his kids. He takes full advantage of seeing is children and he takes full advantage of talking to his children. Sure I know that you’re tired after a long week at work or maybe you’re working a second job to support your children but those are adult issues. Kids only know that they see you or hear from you. They only know that you take the time to ask about their day and share parts of your life with them. To your kids you are the most important man in the world.
But your EX is a horrible person that you can’t stand to see. Wow, that’s original! Divorce does not mean divorcing your kids. Can’t stand to see your EX then make arrangements to do a kid exchange at McDonald’s were making a scene would make her look like a jerk. Get your kids in the car before you engage in a limited conversation and that conversation should be “I’ll text you later.” Use a parenting text service and keep all of your communication through that service. If possible, arrange to have a relative pick up or deliver your kids. If you have to pick up the kids at their house, then ring the bell and wait for them outside (always be cordial to their Mom- hello goes a long way in front of your kids). Your kids are watching you and listening to you and it’s important for you to set a good example because your kids will carry that message all of their lives.
This Father’s Day be a Dad. Put your phone down because no message or phone call is more important than your children.
This Father’s Day be a Dad. Have patience with your children because they are learning from you how to be loving and responsible people.
Happy Dad’s Day.