When our parents and grandparents were younger, to be divorced was a social faux pas. You stayed together for the children or because your marriage vows said for “better or worse.” In the 1970s, the country’s attitude towards divorce began to change and in the 1980s and 1990s, your friends gave you a divorce party with much fanfare and gifts to start you out on your new life.
But through all of that and all of those years, we only knew that divorce was a legal process to end the marriage. We now know that divorce is, and always was, a rending of the couple and their family (including extended family). The tearing apart was painful even when we desperately wanted out of the marriage. One party lost their home and everyday access to their children. Both parties faced financial deprivation although most men fared better than the women. Children who were once cared for at home now go to daycare and experience a longer day than the workday of their parents.
This post is not to discourage you from divorcing but to discourage you from divorcing in haste. When you decide it’s time to divorce, make sure you have taken all of the steps necessary to repair your marriage. For some persons, that is not possible due to abuse, alcoholism, drug use, harassment, and other acts against you and your children.
It is so easy to say, “I want a divorce,” but it is much harder to live the reality of divorce.