50/50 Joint Custody or Child Support Reduction- What’s The Real Reason?

In creating the parenting agreement, the soon to be EX (and usually it is the  husband) demands a 50/50 custody agreement. No doubt, for some  parents the 50/50 works when they live close to each other and in the same school district and the parents talk to each other (not shout or criticize). But for most 50/50 does not work.

Still, some men see the 50/50 option as a way to not pay any child support or to lower their child support commitment. How do you test the commitment waters?  Keep a calendar (and copy of text and email messages)of how often Dad sees the kids? Is he often very late or regularly brings the kids home early? Has he been granted multiple weekends and multiple days of the week for visitation but he just can’t seem to find the time (sports, gym, work, etc).  He doesn’t have time to take the kids to the doctor, or swim lessons, or school sports. Parent’s night at school and he is AOL.

Bring this “evidence” to the court to support your position that Dad’s 50/50 proposal is a sham to reduce or eliminate child support.

Children are not pawns or poker chips. They are your kids, your blood runs in their veins. Man-up (or in some cases,woman-up)

The Other Woman

There is a new woman (or man) in your Ex’s life. You might be resentful because it’s not you but think about it. You don’t have a grievance with this person (adultery will be different). There is no reason to hate her or him – they did not break-up your marriage.  Your Ex broke up your marriage- that is where you focus your anger or frustration. The Other Woman may be great for your kids, care about your kids, push your Ex to visit the kids. If they have children together, she will be the mother of your children’s half-sibling.

What about if you broke-up the marriage? The same holds true in that the Other Woman may bring many benefits for your children. In the same way, your New Man may bring benefits to your life and to the lives of your children.

Don’t bad mouth the Other Woman. You don’t have to be BFFs but you can show her respect. She may be the new wife or partner who you will be seeing for many years to come. If you’re all of you are lucky, you will become friends and your children will benefit.