Your children hear you yell at your spouse. They see the disrespectful looks and they hear the snipes. You may think they are too young to understand what is going on or that they are too involved in their teenage social world to notice the tension in the house – you’re wrong! Your kids are victims of your battle. You owe it to your children to see them through the process of your divorce in a healthy manner. For children 8 and under, check out Sesame Street’s ” Little Children BIG Challenges:Divorce.” For your older children get them counseling. STOP using your children to deliver messages to your soon to be ex, or your ex-spouse. Don’t belittle your ex to your children- remember they love their mom and their dad. Consult with your attorney to form a parenting plan that works for your children – you can adjust. Children are not personal property- you both love your children- you have an obligation as a parent do what is best for your children.
I can still remember looking at the divorce complaint: Mr.XXX v Mrs. XXX. What had happened? It seemed it was just a breath ago that we had sent out invitations to the wedding: Mr. and Mrs. Bride’s Parents and Mr. and Mrs. Groom’s Parents cordially invite you to the wedding of their children.
As I sat in court the other day, I couldn’t help but wonder the same thing about the couple seeking to dissolve their marriage.
I remember making all those plans for the wedding. All the important issues like the color of the napkins, candles on the tables, the photographer, etc. (lol) We should have made plans about the marriage.
If it’s not too late for you and yours, take a moment to remember. Some marriages can be saved, others have run their course. If you’re sure it’s time to move on, then it’s time to see a divorce lawyer.
Some think that one day you just wake-up and hate your partner or you turn 40 and the divorce goes along with the red sports car. You can’t stand that your partner keeps the house too clean or too messy or has gained or lost too much weight.
While some or all of the above maybe somewhat true, the decision to divorce festers over a number of years. OK, I hear those of you who have been married only 2 years rolling your eyes (yes, I can hear eye rolling), but your decision to divorce started while you were dating. You looked the other way when there were red flags.
I know I did!
I didn’t enter marriage knowing how to communicate with my spouse. By the time most of us recognize that we are “right fighters” (thanks Dr. Phil) it’s too late and we’re in a lawyer’s office.
Think…………how much are you willing to risk to always be right? To never compromise?